Celebrity marriages

If they hadn't followed the last game in the NCAA tournament one night with some of the crap that would normally be on earlier, this might not even make my blog. For some reason, though, the channel stayed on one of those celebrity news shows after the game, and I watched at it a bit.

It seems that Britney Spears isn't so infatuated with her hubby at the moment. Who'd have guessed? I'm going to refrain from bashing her, because, if the story is true, I don't want to blow my chance to fuck her. I mean, who knows when she'll be doing a show in my town, and, afterward, want to go out for a drink to a smoke-filled, karaoke bar to pick up the sexiest fat, bald guy in there for a romp in the sack? Just imagining what it would be like to have that tight body writhing in ecstacy gives me a boner.

I have no fantasy about a relationship with Britney lasting, though. I couldn't handle all the travel, primping, and cameras, and she probably wouldn't give it all up to ride around in a station wagon. Our statures in life are just so different. That's probably part of the reason the superstar singer is having problems with her stage dancing partner.

But holding the same stature doesn't necessarily mean success, either. Take Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey, for example. While these two celebs probably deserve each other, it's because they both are rather annoying. What were they thinking when they sold the rights to follow them around as newlyweds? I'm thinking it had to be Jessica's idea. She seems as though she'd be capable of missing three on two-question test. Nick knows he's out of his league with her, and, if he hadn't been in a boy band, his witching stick would never have found her wet spot, so he just goes along with her stupid idea.

My daughter told me that they were backing out of the show, and suspected that they were also having problems with their marriage. Oh well. I don't have the same feelings about her that I do about Britney. She's fine enough that I could probably handle it if she were totally unable to speak, but the best way to lose a hard on over her is to have the volume on.

Though I really don't care about these marriages like you dumbshits who encourage the networks into putting that crap on when there isn't a tourney going on, I really do hope that one celebrity marriage works out.

Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are about as beautiful a couple as I can imagine. I've had a crush on Jennifer since I first saw Friends. You know, I can't honestly say how good of an actress she is. I'm always so focused on her ass that I forget there's a plot, or something. But as fine as she is, news of her marriage being in trouble doesn't motivate me like Britney's does. Jennifer has always been like the beautiful girl next door. She has an almost pure personna compared to Britney who I think of more as the slutty cheerleader type. Also unlike Britney, I know Jennifer's husband's name without having to Google an answer, and she deserves somebody as good as him.

Brad Pitt is like the ultimate male superstar. He's a great actor. He draws the audience into his characters like few can. I'll watch a movie if I know he's in it because he's just that great of an actor. He also seems like he'd be a cool guy to have for a friend, you know, like picking up the tab, and leaving the ladies for his buds because he's faithful to Jennifer and/or Angelina. On top of that, he's always on those 'sexiest man alive' lists, and for good reason. He seems to have it all: skills, personality, and looks. He's so together that if he wanted to, despite that I'm not gay, I might let him give me a blow job.

This might be the only time I write about celebrity marriages because, for the most part, I'm not one of you dipshits that follows this crap.

That's my take.